The Old Testament For Gen Z

Description: About this item: Yo, fellow Gen Z peeps! Check out "The Old Testament for Gen Z." It's a dope, modern adaptation of the religious text that's specifically tailored for us. Using the latest AI technology, the scripture has been updated into a verse-by-verse rendition using language we can all vibe with. Whether you're into religion or not, it's definitely worth checking out because this new work of is both funny and respectful at the same time. So if you're looking for something different to read, give it a go!Example Translation #1 Original text: "That the LORD called Samuel: and he answered, Here am I. And he ran unto Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou calledst me. And he said, I called not; lie down again. And he went and lay down. And the LORD called yet again, Samuel. And Samuel arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And he answered, I called not, my son; lie down again. Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD, neither was the word of the LORD yet revealed unto him. And the LORD called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me. And Eli perceived that the LORD had called the child." Updated version: "Then the LORD hits up Samuel's DMs, and Samuel's like, "Yo, I'm here." He books it to Eli, all, "You rang?" But Eli's like, "Nah, wasn't me. Hit the snooze button, dude." So, Samuel crashes again. The LORD slides into Samuel's notifications again, "Samuel!" And again, Samuel hops up, runs to Eli, "You sure you didn't call?" Eli's like, "Kid, it wasn't me. Back to bed." Thing is, Samuel hadn't friended the LORD yet, wasn't tuned into that frequency. Third time's the charm, the LORD calls out. Samuel, sticking to the script, runs to Eli. This time, Eli catches on that it's the LORD on the line for Samuel." Example Translation #2 Original text: "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Updated version: "Now, finding a good woman? That's like finding a rare gem, worth more than rubies." Example Translation #3 Original text: "All the presidents of the kingdom, the governors, and the princes, the counsellors, and the captains, have consulted together to establish a royal statute, and to make a firm decree, that whosoever shall ask a petition of any God or man for thirty days, save of thee, O king, he shall be cast into the den of lions." Updated version: "All the VIPs of the kingdom pitched this idea that would trap Daniel: How about for 30 days, no one can ask for anything from any god or person except you, king? Break the rule, and it's snack time in the lion's den" Example Translation #4 Original text: "And David put his hand in his bag, and took thence a stone, and slang it, and smote the Philistine in his forehead, that the stone sunk into his forehead; and he fell upon his face to the earth. So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and smote the Philistine, and slew him; but there was no sword in the hand of David. Therefore David ran, and stood upon the Philistine, and took his sword, and drew it out of the sheath thereof, and slew him, and cut off his head therewith. And when the Philistines saw their champion was dead, they fled." Updated version: "Quick as a DM, David slings a stone, hits Goliath square in the forehead, and down goes the giant. With just a sling and a stone, David drops Goliath, no sword needed. David doesn’t stop there, uses Goliath’s own sword to finish the job, and the Philistines scatter."

Price: 33.93 USD

Location: Floral Park, New York

End Time: 2024-12-02T15:32:56.000Z

Shipping Cost: 0 USD